To continue exploring the circular dynamics in human systems, let’s consider:
Which came first, discomfort or dissent?
Fast track thinking engages a linear cause and effect association between Jan voicing concerns causing Sarah’s action to shut Jan down. Refer to Discomfort of Dissent for the backstory and here for additional context. Depending on paradigms of management, you might interpret that this is a “correct” outcome and that reports shouldn’t question or challenge their manager. Others might conclude that Jan needs to learn better skills to manage up. Yet others fast track to Sarah needing better listening skills.
I do hold a belief that leaders have the responsibility to go first, with authority comes responsibility. Yet I disagree that it’s as easy as teaching skills. This oversimplification of behavior-based change is contributing unnecessary stressors to the stress pile.
There is another option! To dive in and build mastery to lead in human dynamics, the interchange of energy and information, within and between people, that transpires with every interaction whose effect goes on infinitum.
Neuroscience research on the effects of trauma on the brain has yielded a wealth of understanding to our dynamic existence as humans, the brain to brain dance that we started learning before we were born and we cannot turn off. For this dance to be a creative and collaborative interchange, both people must be in a state where the autonomic nervous system registers 'calm' to 'alert'. And have a dynamic that allows both to stay there.
Outside of that, the brain is doing what it has learned for survival. So when there is discomfort, the brain may go into high alert for perceived threats, such as hearing dissent (information with personal risk) rather than information. Just as being outside this range of arousal may present with unintentional tone, word choices, or body language. An outsider can only see the interaction through their own filters.
My curiosities with Jan and Sarah would start with:
· Jan’s ANS arousal state prior to sharing thoughts about the videos.
· How Jan’s lived experience had shaped beliefs about value of her thoughts and intellect as well as her role with authority.
· Sarah’s felt sense as Jan shared and any shift in ANS arousal.
· How Sarah’s lived experience had shaped beliefs about self worth and role as authority figure.
And the discovery for each of them, and both of them, would follow from there. This same thing applies to every other interaction as well as the observation of interactions.
It may be easy to dismiss this as insignificant and not worth the time and effort to learn and grow. Recognize that dismissal as an indication of your current ANS arousal state and, when ready, be curious about what led you there. In the end, it’s the dance that matters, not the topic danced around. We can learn and grown from any stimulus. Why not begin with whatever signals 'stress'?
Traumatic or otherwise, our lived experience has brought each of us to a current pattern of embedded beliefs and embodied habits that fast track this brain dance without any thinking required. Once you start seeing the dynamics, you’ll recognize it everywhere, at all levels of society. Mastering dynamics is critical to dissolving conflict and mistrust so we can collaboratively solve real problems.
If you are intrigued to evolve leadership presence to include mastery of dynamics, I’d love to collaborate (shelly@systemicgrowth.org). Just as this brain to brain dance can work against us, it can work for us – and more importantly, WITH us.
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