Sarah is pleased to see that an update with Jan is on calendars for today. She’s looking forward to confirming the status of an upcoming digital marketing campaign. She’s also a bit nervous because the VP reminded her yesterday of the expectations for this campaign.
As Jan rolls through some lower priority items from her team, Sarah jumps in to ask about the campaign. Jan fidgets in her seat and says, “I want to talk to you about that. I think we should slow down and recycle on the video segments.” Jan went on to explain how they come across as coercive, with a seductive edge, that seems inconsistent with the authenticity of the brand. Without pause, Sarah lashes out, “Why are you always so critical? I need you to get onboard and make this happen. I’m sure they’re fine.” The update ended and Jan left to ‘make things happen’, expecting more sleepless nights wrestling with what’s right and daily frustrations to keep Sarah happy and protect the brand. Although Sarah suspects there is some truth to Jan’s perspective, she hopes she was clear about what needs to happen. To make sure, she follows up with the video team directly to make sure they stay on track. They have to pull this off. She’s careful what she says, but she knows that business is down and she’s at risk if cuts are needed.
How often have you found yourself in this situation, in any of the positions? If we step back, it isn’t the dissent itself that is troubling – it’s the dynamics that surround it. The emotion and energy that envelop the information twist and turn it to the point of dysfunction and distress.
The system sketch below illustrates the intrapersonal and dyadic contributions that create the ‘problems’. In contrast, what if
- Sarah could recognize the hyperarousal at Jan’s words?
- Jan was able to separate her wellness from keeping her boss happy?
- Sarah could identify the nonconscious drivers of action and evolve as a leader?
- Sarah and Jan could stay present with discomfort long enough for common understanding, opening space to explore possibilities between the extremes?
Systemic growth focuses on the implicit processes rather than the explicit content to bring about sustainable changes for wellness, trust, and better decisions. When harmonized with others, the growth is exponential.
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