Safer in my head than on paper. Safer in my head than spoken. Just safer.
On the inside, I’ve learned to have a lot of fun with my thoughts and insights!
- This alone is progress.
The other day, when the notion that ideas are safer in my head popped up, I was swaying around the room. Just like the playful ideas tossing between my mind, my heart, my wounds, my spirit, my Self. It was like following a treasure map. Feeling excited with each new turn and friendly connection.
The experience was memorable. Had internal energy and traction. “I’m gonna write it out, share it.” “So many other people can relate to it.” “I’ll open the conversation!” “I can bring hope and encouragement, so others share their perspectives more freely!!” How exciting!
So, now, I sit to write -
The mind has trapped the idea.
All the connections that were joyfully bouncing with each other have stiffened.
My neck and shoulders tense. Toes curl.
I hear a faint whisper…”what do you think you’re doing?”…
OH, MY GOODNESS! Thankfully, I chuckle at the nonsense of it all. A true out-loud belly chuckle, not the old laugh-to-contain-the-pain one. This is so fascinating to me!
Enter the voices that have surrounded me in the past – Stop overthinking it. Stop making a big deal out of nothing. You make it so complicated. Just give yourself a deadline and get it done. Blah blah blah.
For many years, the inner protector parts from those experiences were harsh. Mean. Shaming. Now, I recognize them for what they are – the internalized messages of others’ defenses from my perspective. It was natural for them to do so. Likely autopilots, out of their awareness and unintentional. AND they impacted me, my inner dynamics. My inner sense of security to be me and express myself.
Humans are the most fascinating creatures on the planet, and with our natural defenses (that are part of the fascination), we avoid fully understanding ourselves.
So when you find yourself wanting to do something and being unable to get traction,
practice accepting your inner resistance and get to know it:
* Wonder about the parts of you that are naturally interfering.
Notice if your attributions go to things around you. My boss expects… My partner was…
Bring it back to your dynamics – what part of you is contributing?
* Be curious if you’re stuck in a have-to and do-not-want-to situation.
Incongruence with inner values is often masked with labels like avoidance and procrastination.
What is your predictive model saying will happen if you don’t? Relieve this pressure by exploring all the possibilities.
Perhaps there is a growth opportunity for you and others in finding a new way.
* Drop into the felt sense of the dynamic.
What emotional energy is present? What does your instinct tell you? Are false threats flaring? What signals are firing in your physiology?
These are all information sources to hold with the thoughts to gain new understanding.
I have a deep, heartfelt desire to share the integration of science, nature, and the human experience that is coming together. I’m a geeky science nerd with endless curiosity and the intellectual capacity to integrate diverse and potentially conflictual information.
I see my synthesis helping my clients daily and want everyone to benefit in ways that reduce distress and bring ease to living. Living in a world that we are changing faster than we can naturally keep up with.
I don’t know the path for putting this integration out to the world. I know it is emerging. It won’t be forced by behavior modification. It will flourish by nurturing the inner dynamics and inviting others to heartfelt meet-each-other-where-we-are connection. This is the nature of human growth.
If intrigued by this invitation and the mission to bring harmonized growth to the world, consider meeting me where I currently am –
Sign up for the newsletter on the Institute for Systemic Growth website.
( They come infrequently...they require writing. ha! )
I look forward to seeing you!
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